good intention are not enough

falling in love is always magical. it feels eternal, as if love will last forever. we naively believe that somehow we are exempt from the problems our parents had, free from the odds that love will die, assured that it is meant to be and that we are destined to live happily ever after.

but as a magic recedes and daily life taken over, it emerges that men continues to expect women to think and react like man, and women expect men to feel and behave like women. without a clear awareness of our differences, we do not take time to understand and respect each other. we become demanding, resentful, judgement and intolerant.

with the best and most loving intentions love continues to die. somehow the problems creep in. the resentments build. communication breaks down. mistrust increases. rejection and repression result. the magic of love is lost.

but! ask ourselves;

- how does it happen?

- why does it happen?

- why does it happen to us?

p/s: jom tido dl. kita smbg lg esok yer :)

remembering our differences

without the awareness that we are supposed to be different, men and women are at odds with each other. we usually become angry or frustrated with the opposite sex because we have forgotten this important truth. we expect the opposite sex to be more like ourselves. we desire them to 'want what we want' and 'feel the way we feel'.

we mistakenly assume that if our parents love us they will react and behave in certain ways-the ways we react and behave when we love someone. this attitude sets up to be dissappointed again and again and prevents us from taking the necessary time to communicate lovingly about our differences.

men mistakenly expect women to think, communicate and react the way men do; women mistakenly expect men to feel, communicate and respond the way women do. we have forgotten that men and women are supposed to be a different.

so, when you remember that men are from mars, and women are from venus, everything can be explained.

you cannot, nor should you ever try to, change your partner. that is his or her job. your job is to change the ways you communicate, react and respond to your partner. with new insight, you have added wisdom and power to adjust your approach. with better communication you can more effectively give the support you seek, and in return, you will be more successful in getting the support you want as well.

'with new insight you have the added wisdom and power to change your approach rather than seeking to change your partner'

gender differences show up the most after getting involved in an intimate relationship, having children together, or when we are under a lot of stress.